I feel lost. I don’t know who I am or what I bring to the table; in every facet of my life it’s as though I have no identity.
Everything I ever knew, about my interests and my drive and my passion… everything is missing. everything is lost. I want to do nothing but spread love; but how am I supposed to do that if I don’t love myself? How am I supposed to give you everything that you deserve if I don’t know what I’m worth?
I suppose I’m being overdramatic, and getting lost in my own thoughts. But I have no other way to process information. Any physical or mental capacity I had at one point, to feel better or be happy, is now gone. and I don’t know why.
I am broken. Not shattered; not wounded; just completely incapable of compartmentalizing my being.
I know it doesn’t make sense. and I don’t even understand it. Maybe thats where all the pain comes from – not knowing?
What’s more, every day is different. and every day gets a little easier, and a little harder at the same time. In one moment things feel better and normal, and the next it feels like my head is caving in. So many thoughts and feelings; frustrations and compensations all competing for my attention.
They say you have to enjoy the journey, but how do I do that if I have no idea where I’m going?